Forgetting the Whale (20th December 2011)

The 'Trade Paperback' version of Maximilian arrived through the post this week. This is an exciting moment for an author. It's the first time you get to lovingly flip through the pages of your book - or at least something that looks very much like it. The cover design is so seductive and clever. I know I've seen the cover artwork before, but I'd never thought what the back cover might look like. The artist has added a dramatic label that reads, 'DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME'. I didn't know he (or probably she) was going to do that - but I love it. It captures the reckless and futile essence of Max's project perfectly.


I hadn't appreciated the long, drawn-out process of publishing, and what this means to an author. By the time you send your manuscript off to the publisher, you've probably read and re-read it a dozen or more times. The early chapters you'll have read so often you can almost recite them. But then months pass. In my case, I sent Max away in May 2010. You start writing the next novel, and eventually, off that goes too. Your head is in a very different universe, grappling with a very different story. (By the time Maximilian reaches the bookstands in paperback, I should be in the middle of writing Book Four if I stay on timetable.) So you start to lose touch with Novel One. 


A couple of months ago, therefore, I re-read Maximilian. I thought I ought to have it fresh in my mind for conversations with the publisher. Mistake. A week or so later the detailed page edits arrived from Orion. Every page was a morass of scribbles, crossings-out, corrections, and edits. I had to read it all again. That was hard. Today I've had a cheerful email from the publisher. They'll send me the page edits to go though over Christmas. I'm going to have to read it again. I do wonder how writers get any time to read anyone else's work at all - you're so busy reading your own.


Hey ho. Only a few more shopping days until Christmas. I've abandoned 'The To Do List' as material for Book Three. No matter how hard I try I can't dismember the original screenplay format. So now I'm writing something darker. These are early days, so I shouldn't say much. And I'm only 3,000 words in. But, for the sake of honesty and posterity I shall drop in my working title. It is, 'Forgetting the Whale.'

The First Cover Design ...(9th July 2011)

This is getting exciting. I've had the first cover design from Orion - and I love it!

For more about my books check out my website https://johnironmonger.com

Maximilian Ponder: The Story so far ... (11th April 2011)

This is me working out how to blog. Oh dear. Don't like this font. Let's change from Times New Roman to Verdana. Much better. Should I mess around with fonts for a while? How about Lucida? Not very different is it? Georgia then? Oh no. That won't do for my new blog. Back to Verdana. But now I'm wasting time and losing my readers. Why do I prevaricate like this? The story so far ... In July 2005 I sat at my computer and typed out the first line of a novel. I already knew this was going to be a novel and not a short story, and it was going to be my first 'proper' novel in contrast to the strange science fiction and fantasy tales I'd written before. The story had been incubating in my mind for some months, but, well, I'd put off actually committing anything to paper; or to hard drive. 


Anyway - the time had come. I loaded up Microsoft Word and I typed, 'My name is Maximilian Zygmer Quentin Kavadis John Cabwhill Teller. My name contains every letter of the Roman alphabet except for the letter 'f'. My mother, it seems, had an aversion to 'f'.' After this I had to check the name to see if the alphabet claim was true. But damnit there was no 'p' either. I tried adding another name - 'Paul' but somehow this made the line lose its rhythm. I messed around changing names and inserting letters, and in this way I happily spent around an hour before finally having to abandon my writing for the day. I had written thirty three words and had stalled on finding a name for my central character. It wasn't an auspicious start.


Fast forward five years. The finished novel has been languishing on my computer for eighteen months while (in another fit of procrastination) I wonder what to do with it. Finally one morning in a fit of uncharacteristic energy, I send some sample chapters out to three agents. The book is now called, 'The Interesting Brain of Maximilian Ponder.' It is the story of a young man who locks himself away for three years to catalogue every memory from his brain. Only it doesn't take him three years. It takes thirty years. 


Would anyone ever want to read this? I really don't know any more. But I send it off anyway. And then I wait. Writers need to be good waiters. The manuscript went out in May 2010 and the first rejection came back before I'd had time to make a coffee. The second agent gushed over it for five months before sending me the squirmy letter. But hooray for the third agent. I shall call him 'Stan' although this isn't his real name you understand. Stan called to say that he loved the book. Now as anyone who ever wrote a novel could tell you, this immediately means that you can die happy. Someone actually loved this piece of tortuous prose that you've been living with for five years. Those words over the phone trump a massive injection of heroin in terms of sheer euphoric effect.


When the auction started it was giddy. It was unreal. Bids came flying in for unimaginable sums of money, and the man we shall call 'Stan' glibly batted them away into the long grass, waiting for bigger ones to emerge. I am so happy to have signed with Orion. I love everything about them. Their offices are right opposite 'The Ivy'. I have a lovely and very understanding editor. They throw fabulous parties where you rub shoulders with Michael Palin and Hairy Bikers. Most of all, they seem to love the book. Now it is, 'The Notable Brain of Maximilian Ponder.' (Apparently the word 'interesting' isn't especially interesting.)I'm revising the manuscript this month, and hope to see it in print in the spring of 2012 - a year from now. That is the story so far. I will try to blog updates, including progress on Book 2 (working title: 'Explaining Azalea.'). So that was Blog Number One. And it kept me from having to revise Maximilian for at least thirty minutes. Now about those fonts ...

For more about my books check out my website https://johnironmonger.com