Showing posts with label cliches. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cliches. Show all posts

More Movie Cliches ... [31 March 2023]

Back in January I wrote a blog post bemoaning lazy cliches in movies and on TV. https://notablebrain.blogspot.com/2023/01/movie-cliches-tropes-and-memes.html This, in turn, was prompted by an earlier blog post grumbling about the gun-related cliches in the new Avatar movie. https://notablebrain.blogspot.com/2022/12/avatar-2-and-all-american-love-affair.html

Well, as often happens, those posts got me noticing plenty more lazy cliches that movie makers use; so here, just for you, are a few of them. You’re welcome…

1. PSYCHO KILLERS ALWAYS PASTE THEIR BEDROOM WALLS WITH NEWS CUTTINGS. When the cop finally stumbles into the lair of the serial killer/psycho that’s how we know they’ve found the bad guy.

2. OLDER COPS ARE JUST ABOUT TO RETIRE. One extra case eh…

3. SENIOR COPS ALWAYS BAWL OUT THE GOOD COP. This seems to be a rule. There is always a more senior cop usually with a glass fronted office that looks over the incident room, and he (or she) is NEVER pleased with the way the case is going, never says, ‘well done,’ usually threatens to take the good cop’s badge, and generally pulls the good cop off the case.

4. IF THE SENIOR COP ALSO HAS A BOSS, THAT BOSS WILL BE BENT

5. COPS NEVER CATCH ANYONE IN A CAR CHASE. Did you ever see a car chase where the cops catch the guy they’re chasing, even if they throw a hundred cars at it? No. The guy (who is being chased by cops usually because of a misunderstanding) always gets away.

6. WRITERS ALWAYS WEAR SPECS. Also they either live in a cabin by a lake or in a New York apartment. 

7. HEROES ARE NEVER HAPPILY MARRIED. Usually the wife has died. Or else they’ve had an undeserved separation. Whatever, they are now available but only reluctantly.

8. TEENAGE SONS ARE ALWAYS REBELLIOUS. If the hero dad gives his teenage son an order, you know the son will flagrantly ignore it in the next scene. But in the end the teenage son comes good, sees the errors of his ways, and makes up with the dad.

9. TEENAGE DAUGHTERS ARE ALWAYS SUPER SMART AND USUALLY ABOUT TO GO TO HARVARD.

10. DOCTORS ARE ALWAYS READY TO TELL YOU HOW LONG YOU HAVE TO LIVE. AND IT’S USUALLY JUST SIX MONTHS. But protagonists with six months left always look reasonably fit, they don’t spend the six months suffering in bed, they get out there and fight the bad guys.

11. NIGHTCLUBS/SEEDY DIVES ALWAYS HAVE A STRIPPER IN THE BACKGROUND, BUT NOBODY IS ACTUALLY WATCHING HER

12. IF A MOVIE STARTS WITH A HAPPY COUPLE MOVING INTO A NEW HOME, YOU KNOW IT WON’T TURN OUT WELL.

13. IF A MOVIE INVOLVES A SINGLE PERSON MOVING INTO A REMOTE CABIN IN THE WOODS, THEN DITTO.

14. MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS WILL ALWAYS QUARREL

15. THE HERO COP/DETECTIVE WILL CASUALLY SPOT A CLUE THAT THE WHOLE CSI TEAM HAVE OVERLOOKED. Hmm. I wonder who left this cigarette butt …

16. IF A SCENE TAKES PLACE IN PARIS, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE ABLE TO SEE THE EIFFEL TOWER IN THE BACKGROUND OR THROUGH A WINDOW. In London it’s usually Big Ben.

17. THE BAD GUY’S HENCHMEN DIE FIRST. Finally he’s the last one left alive, but he’s also the trickiest to kill. Also, have you noticed; henchmen never have any lines. No henchman ever has a wisecrack, or says something poignant while dying. A shot henchman simply does the decent thing and dies quickly and quietly. Also where does the bad guy find all these henchmen? Are they amazingly well paid? Do they get paid holidays? Do they grumble over their conditions of employment?  Why are they always happy to do as they are told even when it looks as if they’ll die doing it? Why do they never say: ‘hey, this isn’t my fight. Leave me out of it.’ And on that subject ...  

18. HELICOPTER PILOTS EMPLOYED BY VILLAINS ARE STUPIDLY RECKLESS. Where do you employ a guy who is happy to fly a helicopter into such a dangerous situation that he and his helicopter will end up as a massive fireball? There must be an agency somewhere specialising in suicidal pilots ...



19. THE UNIFORM ON THE PEG/DEAD GUY IS ALWAYS A PERFECT FIT WHEN SOMEONE ELSE NEEDS IT. We never see a character struggling to get into a stolen uniform. A side door just opens and out they step, dressed up. And amazingly no one will question them.

20. WHEN THE BAD GUY GETS HIS CHANCE TO KILL THE GOOD GUY HE ALWAYS CHOOSES NOT TO. Why would you do that?

21. BIG PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES ARE ALWAYS EVIL. So are the billionaire owners of social media and tech companies except for Stark Industries

22. IT IS REALLY EASY TO KNOCK SOMEONE UNCONSCIOUS. If you’re cool and you know how.

23. IT IS REALLY EASY TO KICK DOWN A DOOR. If you’re cool and you know how.

24. IT IS REALLY EASY TO SNATCH A GUN OUT OF AN ANTAGONIST’S HAND. If you’re cool and you know how.

25. IT IS REALLY EASY TO HACK INTO JUST ABOUT ANY COMPUTER. If you’re uncool and a nerd hacker.

26. IT IS ALWAYS EASY TO PARK. There is always a convenient space.

27. GIRL WAKES UP IN BED – WONDERS WHERE HER LOVER FROM THE NIGHT BEFORE HAS GONE – DON’T WORRY – HE’S COOKING UP BREAKFAST. And actually he’s an amazing cook. Who would have guessed?

28. IF THERE IS A POKER GAME – SOMEONE WILL ALWAYS HAVE AN UNBELIEVABLE HAND. One protagonist has a once in a lifetime hand. But what do you know. Someone else at the table has a better one.

29. IF THERE IS A CHESS GAME IN PLAY, IT IS ONLY EVER ONE MOVE AWAY FROM CHECKMATE.

30. IT ONLY TAKES A SECOND TO PAY FOR A CAB. Movie people just pass over a banknote and get out without speaking.

31. IF YOU CHASE ANYONE DOWN AN ESCALATOR AT A TUBE STATION, GUESS WHAT? THERE WILL BE A TRAIN RIGHT THERE AT THE PLATFORM (OR JUST ARRIVING) FOR THEM TO HOP ONTO. Yet whenever I run down an escalator at a tube station I find I just missed the train. 

32. THE HERO ALWAYS MISSES HIS DAUGHTER'S BIRTHDAY PARTY / CONCERT. It isn't his fault. He'll be forgiven at the end.

I'm beginning to think this is an almost endless seam to be mined. If you've spotted any more lazy tropes, let me know, or drop them into the comments. I daresay I'll keep noticing them. 

Please check out my website for more information on my books. https://www.johnironmonger.com 


Movie Clichés (tropes and memes). And why it's time to stop them. [13 Jan 2023]

I wrote a blog post last month about ‘Avatar 2 (The Way of Water)’ and I used this post to bemoan the prevalence of lazy movie memes – especially memes that involve guns. But maybe, on reflection, ‘meme’ wasn’t the right word. Some people, I’ve discovered, call these things ‘tropes,’ which makes them sound almost respectable. But I’m starting to think of them as clichés. When a hero is rescued by a gunshot from an offscreen character (the Deus ex Machina escape) this is surely nothing more than a lazy cliché – predictable, unoriginal, overused, and boring. 

Clichés take the fun out of movies. They tell you, 'here is an unoriginal screenwriter and an unimaginative director and a studio that is happy to rerun old ideas.' It is time for us, the movie-watching public, to call out these mind numbing practices.  So I thought I might use this blog post to start a collection of these clichés, and I shall add to it when I come across new ones. Feel free to contribute movie clichés that annoy you – just drop them into the comments and I’ll add them on. Here are a few to get us started.

 

HEROES ALWAYS RUN FROM AN EXPLOSION WITH NOT A SECOND TO SPARE

THE TV NEWS FLASH IS ALWAYS RELEVANT

If the TV is on in the background of a scene, and the news is on (or there’s a news flash) – you can be absolutely certain this news item will be central to the story that is about to unfold. Particularly if it happens in Act 1. No other story will be aired and the characters will turn off the TV before the football results come on.

LESSONS ARE ALWAYS INTERRUPTEFD BY THE BELL

If a character is a teacher or a professor we will join them in class, but only for the last few minutes of class up until the point where they are interrupted by the bell. Never midway through. During the few minutes we see, the teacher/professor will expound upon a theory that will prove central to the story that is about to unfold. Particularly if it happens in Act 1. Usually he/she will be interrupted by a smartass student with a smartass question. This student will turn out to be the hero or the nemesis of the story.

THE DOG WILL DIE

There’s a dog! Oh dear. He’s going to die. Or go missing.

PRIVATE CONVERSATIONS WILL BE OVERHEARD

Two characters share their suspicions about a third character. Big mistake. The third character will be standing silently out of sight listening to everything.

DUCTS ARE EVERYWHERE

Every spaceship / building / ship / prison will have a network of ducts that are just wide enough to crawl through. Each duct has a cover with just two screws. A character can also use a duct to eavesdrop on conversations (see previous cliché).

BOMB TIMERS ARE REALLY HELPFUL

For no known reason, bomb makers helpfully include a digital count-down timer (even when they don’t expect anyone to be there to be there to see it.) The bomb maker is never smart enough to have triggered the bomb at any point on the countdown except zero. This is lucky because generally the hero will defuse the bomb with just three seconds to go.  

COSTUME DRAMA DRESSES NEVER GET MUDDY

God knows there must have been a lot of mud. But long dresses stay clean.

DETECTIVES LIVE IN ICONIC HOMES

Usually by water. Or in a trailer. Or a boat. Or somewhere spectacular. Never in an apartment block or on a dull estate.

NO ONE SAYS GOODBYE ON PHONE CALLS

They just hang up. Rude.

IT WAS ALL A DREAM

This cliché annoys me more than any other. We think we’re watching a bona-fide scene in the movie. Dreadful things happen. They get worse. Oh my god! But then the protagonist awakes. Phwew! It was only a dream.  

DRIVERS LOOK AT THEIR PASSENGERS WHILE TALKING

If a car driver has five lines of dialogue, he/she will deliver this whole spiel while looking directly at the passenger, and the passenger will never panic or say ‘keep your eyes on the road.’

COUGHING IN A COSTUME DRAMA MEANS DEATH

One cough is all it needs and you know the character has consumption and will surely die before the credits.

HIGH SCHOOLS ALWAYS HAVE BULLIES

But don’t worry. They will always get their comeuppance in the final act.

BEST FRIENDS ARE ALWAYS QUIRKY

Usually a little overweight. Not too bright. Not too good looking. Often a member of an ethnic minority. They will fall out with the hero in Act 3. But they are staunch. In Act 4 they will reappear just when they are needed.

A Moment that Changed my Life .. (not) 18 Dec 2024

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